YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!

OK. I don't really care for Christmas much. THERE - I SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that sounds horrible especially since I do have a young son, but I have always been this way. I can't stand to decorate and I REALLY dislike X-Mas music for the most part, but there are a couple of songs I can deal with. I blame it on my upbringing because of the lack of enthusiasm of the holidays with my family. You see, I grew up in an extremely poor family, so we never really celebrated holidays much because of the lack of $$$! We just did what most people did that didn't have money - we did what we could and was thankful for that! We spent most of our time with the church celebrating the real meaning of the holiday. My grandmother raised me and she didn't think that it should have been about the gift giving and she was/is right, BUT life just doesn't work that way anymore. Certain THINGS are expected this day in age and I do my best to cater to that theory. Trust me, my son does NOT go without no matter how broke I am. Maybe that's what gets me down so - because I feel that I can't do enough for him no matter how much I provide him with!
So for this deranged thinking, I am always a SCROOGE during Christmas. In fact, I am now known as Ebenezer at work! {Hey, what can I say - people call me as they see me and I have no quams with that!}

Now for the reason for this post! There is only one thing that I look forward to during this time of the year and that is watching "A Christmas Story" with Austin and Todd. This is our tradition to watch it as a family each year. I know most people like to watch the more traditional classics, but this one is my fav. I never miss it. If it's on TV I will watch it, even all day! I have been known to watch it numerous times in one day due to TBS airing it as an all day marathon! But get this, I also own this movie - (thanks Jackie), but I only break it out during the Christmas holidays when I don't really want to watch it on TV due to all of the commercials. Now Todd can only handle it once or maybe twice, but his reaction after two is usually, "Man, not this AGAIN!!!!" So I guess that is part of the tradition for me to hear that time and time again each year!!!! Austin and I love it though - especially when Flick gets his tongue stuck to the pole or when Ralphie beats the bloody snot out of Scut Farcus!!! You just can't beat the reality of it!

So to all of those readers that are wonderful Christmas spirits and actually like this time of the year -

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

- Your Friend, EBENEZER

Oh how I wish I was INEBRIATED...

~befuddled
1. to confuse, as with glib statements or arguments.
2. to make muddled or stupidly drunk.

~besotted
1. to stupefy with drink.

~blasted
1. blighted; ruined.
2. damned; confounded.
3. Slang. drunk.

~blotto
Slang 1. very drunk.

~boiled-as-an-owl
Slang 1. drunk.

~bombed
Slang 1. completely intoxicated or drugged; stoned.

~dipso
Slang 1. a dipsomaniac; habitual drunk.

~groggy
1. staggering, as from exhaustion or blows.
2. dazed and weakened, as from lack of sleep.
3. Archaic. drunk; intoxicated.

~hung-one-on
to become extremely drunk.

~inebriated
1. to make drunk; intoxicate.

~juiced
Slang 1. intoxicated; drunk.

~legless
Australian slang for intoxicated, drunk.

~loaded
3. (of a word, statement, or argument) charged with emotions or associations that prevent rational or unprejudiced communication.
4. Slang.a. having a great deal of money; rich b. under the influence of alcohol or drugs; intoxicated.

~mellow - MY FAV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pleasantly intoxicated.

~obliterated
1. to remove or destroy all traces of.
2. to blot out or render indecipherable; efface.

~obliviated
1. the state of being completely forgotten.
2. the state of forgetting or of being oblivious: the oblivion of sleep. out-of-it, passed-out,

~pickled
2. Slang. drunk; intoxicated.

~pissed - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Let's Go Get Pissed!!!!!
Slang (vulgar); 1.angry or annoyed; 2.drunk; intoxicated.

~plastered
Slang. 1. drunk

~sauced
Slang 1. intoxicated; drunk.

~shickered
1. Chiefly Australian Slang. intoxicated; drunk.

~shit-faced ----OH YEAH BABY!!!! :)
Obscene 1. Intoxicated; drunk.

~smashed
1. Slang. drunk.

~snockered (?)

~spaced'-out' adj. Slang
1. dazed or stupefied by narcotic drugs.
2. dreamily or eerily out of touch with reality; disoriented, forgetful, or dazed.

~stewed
1. Slang. intoxicated; drunk.

~stiff
Slang. a. a dead body; corpse.b. a formal or priggish person.c. a poor tipper; tightwad.d. a drunk.
stinking
1. foul-smelling.
2. Slang. very drunk; plastered.
3. contemptible; disgusting.

~stinko
Slang.1. drunk.2. wretched.

~stoned
1. drunk.
2. intoxicated or dazed from drugs; high.

~tipsy
1. slightly intoxicated.
2. caused by intoxication: a tipsy lurch.
3. unsteady; tippy.

~toasted
2. a person, event, etc., honored with raised glasses before drinking.
3. an act or instance of thus drinking: to drink a toast to the queen.

This week started out sucking and it has continued to suck so I just want to do all of the above and pass out somewhere. Maybe all of the problems will be gone when I wake up! NOT!!!!! I know that drinking doesn't take your problems away, but damn it sure is nice to let them disappear for a while!!!! I am so tired of my life sucking.....when will my ship come in???????????????

My plan is to start drinking now and stop when Christmas is over!!!

ANOTHER SPORT!!!! I NEED UPPERS...

Just kidding. I will let him do whatever he wants to, but sometimes I just get worn out!
Austin is already VERY active in soccer, baseball, basketball, and the new golf thing is starting to rear it's head!

{Where's Pam? She's at baseball practice/game}

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - this is a running joke with my friends because I could never do anything with them because of baseball or soccer

I just don't know if I will find anymore time for skateboarding as well!!

GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!!

I will manage to find time for him though. What else is a parent to do? He is my only son and I can't tell him that he can't try something out just because I have issues with time. I know that I should probably tell him to pick one or two and just stick with that, but why? If he has the talent why take it away from him? He is just one of those kids that was born a natural athlete and I WILL NOT make him pick one over the other before he is ready to.
~*~I'm just hoping that the skateboarding thing is just a hobby and not something that he will want to pursue seriously.
After all, the dirt bike racing did pass! >Thank goodness<
Wish me luck!

Aimee Deserves a Round of Applause FOR BEING FIRED!!!!

I know that this sounds a little strange, but...

I found out that my bud that I used to work with, and love dearly, was fired today. You may think that I'm crazy for praising her, but let me just say that she is going to be better off and she is very well aware of this!!!!! I wish all of my good friends would leave there and let the ones that make it miserable drown in their own pool of self riotousness!
So much backstabbing, no rewards, just want - want - want and no give. It's hard to work at a place like that, but you deal and go on because you love what you do and SOME of the people you work with make it worth it.
Aimee is so talented in so many areas and they will regret making that decision I believe.
I sound bitter, but I have my reasons!

KUDOS TO AIMEE!!!! I loved the "Kiss My Ass" on your post!!!! That says it all.

~~~I loved my job when I worked with all of my buds and when I was fired, I was devastated! It literally broke my heart. I was not going to get to spend my days with some amazing people not to mention the creative outlet it supplied me with. I lost all of that. I no longer get to do graphic design on a daily basis and it sucks! I still have my photography and barely have time for that due to my non related 8-5 job that I am now doing, that I dislike BTW! There's nothing wrong with what I am doing, it's just not what I WANT to be doing.
I will say that I am very appreciative toward my last job for the opportunity that it provided. I started out in the lowest entry level position possible and WORKED my way to become a graphic artist and photographer. BUT I owe this to people that believed in me and my abilities and who didn't give up on me. Jackie, Kelley, & Dianne. These ladies believed in me and gave me their time to teach me so that I could make something out of myself. I'm not sure how they convinced the bossman to put me in that position, especially considering that I am only a high school graduate that had very little computer skills. SO THANK YOU LADIES!!!!

Then to Aimee who still believed in me and stood up for me when all of the backstabbers where trying to take me out!!! I just don't understand why people have to be so cut throat and ugly about every situation just because they can't have their way about everything. GROW UP!

I left there very disappointed in myself thinking that I should have handled things a little bit differently, but I now realize that it doesn't matter because they actually did me a favor! Oh how I do miss my friends so much, but I have realized that there are so many more opportunities out there when you have friends like I do that help you believe in yourself. I will eventually get back into the work I love to do and who knows, maybe I will get to work with some of these great friends again.

You have put up with my ranting and raving, I hope I didn't bore you!

GROWING, GROWING, GROWN!!!!!

I can not believe my son, Austin, will be a teenager in less than 2 years! What am I going to do when he does get to the point that he thinks Mom is no longer cool? He simply amazes me on a daily basis and I am so scared that he will dump me when he gets older. I am so hoping that I am one of those moms that her son likes to hang out with as a teen! Am I grasping for straws???? MORE IMPORTANTLY - what the hell am I going to do when he goes to college and moves out?? What will I do with my life? I can't even remember life before him and I damn sure don't want to think about it without him in it in the future. I guess all I can hope for is that he stays close by and still calls every once in a while!!!

MEET LUCY!!!

I just wanted to share my new love to everyone!
She is a Tea Cup Yorkie and just the sweetest thing!
There's only one problem - SHE DOESN'T BELONG TO ME :(

Lucy actually belongs to a very good friend of mine that lives about 2 1/2 hours away from me so I don't get to see her often. I have only gotten to see her twice now and I hold her usually the whole time I visit (which are only weekend visits). She cuddles up under your neck or she will flop over on her back in your arms and look at you for a belly rub! Let me tell ya, I fell in love with her the first second I saw her.
There is always a joke with the family to make sure that when I leave that Lucy is accounted for before I crank up and head out! LOLOL
Of course, I would never take their baby, but I would sure love to!
I know I have my Copper (Golden Retriever) but he's so big and I can't cuddle him as much.
And I wouldn't trade him for the world because he is my sweet BIG baby!
BUT - Hopefully I will have me a Lucy one day soon.

Which Action Hero Would You Be?

You scored as Lara Croft.

A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.

Lara Croft - 88%
The Amazing Spider-Man - 79%
Batman, the Dark Knight - 79%
Maximus - 71%
Indiana Jones - 67%
Captain Jack Sparrow - 63%
The Terminator - 58%
El Zorro - 50%
Neo, the "One" - 50%
William Wallace - 46%
James Bond, Agent 007 - 17%

http://quizfarm.com

I HATE MONDAYS!!!!

It's Monday and this is how I feel!

My weekends always go by to quickly. Friday afternoon was pretty boring. I went home and me, Todd and Austin headed to Wal-mart so that Todd could get his hunting license. Got home and went to bed around 11:30pm. LIKE I SAID - BBBOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!!

Saturday - I had to get up at 6pm (this is early for me) to get on the road to Birmingham. Austin had an indoor soccer tournament at the Sports Blast Center, so that's how I spent my whole Saturday. And it sucked too because his team only won 1 game. I don't know what happened, they are normally a great team and win a lot. They are going to the National Tournament for goodness sake, so they do have some talent. But let me say they must have left it at home this past weekend. Anyway - we got home around 11pm and I went straight to bed when I got in the house. I was so tired that I could hardly hold my eyes open driving home!

Sunday - I woke up around 7:30, but laid in bed and fell back asleep and woke up again around 9am. But I still didn't get out of bed!!! I just laid there with Copper and we watched a little TV. Of course my phone started ringing off the hook, but I didn't answer it. I was so tired of everything and just wanted down time. I finally had to get up though around Noon to get my shower. I had a photo shoot at 1:30 downtown for a friend at work. All went well, but I think that if I had more time, I could've done better. But their family just wanted a couple of shots and I was fine with that.
Then of course I was then off to my In-Laws house for the traditional Sunday dinner. And it was YUM YUM YUMMY!!!!!

I'm an accident waiting to happen!!!

I would like to know how many people do some of the weird things that I do.
Here's one thing for example:

How many of you try to figure out what movie is on in the vehicle in front of you?????

Since it's getting dark earlier, you can see people's DVD screens in their vehicles and I often find myself trying to figure out what they are watching. Yes, I know I'm weird and will probably end up wrecking from this, but it's like a trivia thing with me! In fact, I get mad when one of us has to go in a different direction before I figure it out!

Can't you just see the Headline now-

"Woman Jailed for Stalking DVD Players!"
She says she just has to know what people are watching!

Just an FYI, Shark Tale is a very popular movie!!!!!

SO TELL ME, IS IT MY TIME TO BE COMMITTED YET???????????????

Pam Wants...

OK.. This one is a little better, and I stress "LITTLE"

Pam Wants...

... Peta Friendly Mercedes

... to be chased

... you to make March meatless (LOLOLOLOLOL on so many levels)

... stalker put away (please scroll to read why do old people stare)

... parents who are raising teens to know that they are not alone

... you to be yourself

...to improve the livelihood, job security & quality of life

... to visit 11 places

... to do 29 things

... to be your friend

I can live with these a lot better than I can with what Pam Needs!

Pam Needs....

OK. I fell for it! I caved in and did the Google search for want Pam Needs...

I was not excited about the results!

Read my list and you will see why:

I ever so casually typed in Pam Needs in the Google Search Bar and this was the FIRST thing that popped up!!!!!

... a sperm donor --(WTF) HAHAHAHAHA I know Aimee will laugh her ass off at this one!

... the lowdown

... A New Man - (My Toad would not appreciate this one)

... fluids -(needs to be more specific...LOLOLOL)

... computers too help her grow and develop properly; powerful lungs and the fish like lips; - (Yet another WTF)

... to stop buying cheap tops - (ok I'm guilty)

... comic relief today - (ALWAYS)

... needs to be told: 'You're no longer a Baywatch babe'. (ok...that's just mean!)

... needs to take care of any business.

I'M REALLY scared to to what Pam wants!!!!

My Dog ate my homework....or something like that!

Why is it when children or animals do something wrong that when you look at them you have a hard time punishing them?

Picture this -

At my workplace we celebrate Thanksgiving by having a lunch together with the whole company that wants to participate. We all bring a dish. Those of you who know me know that I HATE TO COOK!!!!! I wouldn't even walk in a kitchen if I didn't have to. I normally just go to a bakery and pick something up. But for some reason, I felt the need to go all out and actually bake something!! Please don't pass out from that statement! I know it's very shocking, but hang in here with me. I bought the stuff to make a Gingerbread Cake and double fudge cookies. All went well. I got everything prepared to go for our Thanksgiving feast! I took my delicious goodies out of the oven and placed them on top of the stove to cool. I then proceeded to go into my bedroom to watch CSI (the first time to actually get to watch it this season). Needless to say, I fell asleep. BIG MISTAKE!!! I woke up the next morning only to find the empty containers still placed very neatly on top of my stove LICKED CLEAN! My very beautiful Golden retriever had apparently felt the need for a midnight snack and helped himself to my treats! "COPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled. He trots around the corner for me to see that puzzled, head sideways look that he often gives when he KNOWS he is in trouble. I know he does that to me intentionally so he won't get a spanking! And it works every time! My heart just melts away and I can't find it in me to punish him.
Needless to say - I ended up making my trip to the bakery that morning!!!

Why Do Old People Stare????

Now I just love old people, although I used to be scared of them when I was younger, but
I just don't get it. Am I that freaking weird looking that people feel the need to stare at me especially old farts???? Now I live in the South and I was raised a good ole country girl that shows her manners to her elders, but at times I just want to say "WHAT THE F%$#ARE YOU STARING AT OLD GEEZER!!!!"
Let me back up and give you an example. I went to the local grocery store the other night and there was this old gentleman standing there, so I walked by and politely smiled and said, "How are you?" He responded with a smile and said just fine young lady. That was that! I moved on and continued to shop. Well you would have thought I gave this old man some kind of gesture or something because every corner I turned he was there staring at me!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I just kept shopping and continued to the check out. I'll be damned, but that old fart got in the check out line with me and eyeballed me the whole time!
Now this isn't the first time I have had old people react to me strangely. It doesn't matter if they are male or female, but they just stare at me when I walk by them.
- What do you think they are thinking?

~ Shame on that girl for dressing like that!
~ I wish I was young again?
~ I hate young people!
~ She should be ashamed of herself to have a hickie on her neck like that! (I have a birth mark on my neck that draws some attention to the people that don't know me)
~ That girl is going to die at a young age if she doesn't loose some of that weight!

Someone please tell me something!