MY LIFE STORY. WOULD YOU READ IT IN THE HARDBACK VERSION?

I actually think that if anything bad will happen, then it will happen to me because it always has!
Maybe I have grown up enough to know that bad shit really does happen to good people. I use to be so naive when I was younger and I, just like millions of other people, always thought “that could never happen to me”. Boy was I wrong!!!! Little did I know growing up that those “bad” things were happening or was going to happen and I was stupid enough to think they were normal. I owe to my grandmother a thank you for attempting to shield me from all of the bad and she tried her best, but she could only do so much.
I now realize that the life I led was NOT normal. Some of the things I faced in my childhood and teen years are hardships most families experience only a couple of during their lifetime.
I guess that’s why I am the way I am. I take things with too much ease when people complain about their lives because I think they could be in a hell of a lot worse shape!
~ I don’t freak out over mice because I grew up with RATS!
~ I don’t freak out over roaches because we had the monster ones that could fly.
~ Spiders… stomp them, don’t scream and run!
~ Clothes get dirty, wash them… in your fancy washer, we had a wash tub and ringer and a clothes line!!!! We didn’t get a real set until I was around 10 and still couldn’t use the dryer because it used too much electricity.
~ Toilet stopped up? OK, I lived without indoor plumbing half my childhood and some of my teen years. Imagine being 6 or 7 and having to walk in the dark in the middle of the night to go potty in an outhouse with just a flashlight!
~ Hate going to the grocery store? I used to have to help in the fields and pick vegetables and shuck or shell them, clean and store.
~ I’ve picked cotton…have you? (I’m only 32 years old!)
~ Family member get drunk at a function and embarrass you? I lived with several alcoholics my entire life that embarrassed and scared me on a daily basis.
~ Dad yell at you for staying out too late? Be thankful you have one. I’ve never met mine, but he is alive and knows I exist!
~ Pissed off at a sibling for taking/wearing something of yours? I have a sister that I’ve never met and would love to be able to!
~ Did you ever get to spend quality time with your mother? I did, during my monthly visits while she was in prison for 7 years and then later when she was released.

Aww man, I could go on and on and on and on but… I will say that my childhood and teen years were not all roses, but thorns. I have done everything in my power to make my life as normal as possible since I married. I have also tried to forget about what now seems like a totally different persons life, but how in the hell does a person get over shit like that????? I battle with these feelings of my childhood all of the time and I know that I should be over it, but it’s hard when I have done my best to make myself a better person because of my past. But yet I feel that I’m snake bit and I am to be punished for the rest of my life for some reason. I vowed to myself and followed through to make sure none of that bad stuff would be a part of my life as an adult, to try to be as normal as possible, but I keep getting knocked down in different ways. It’s like God is playing some cruel joke on me. OK, you changed your life and made sure you didn’t fall into the same web as your family, but I’m going to throw wrenches at you for the rest of your life to make sure you’re awake???? Why can’t I have a happy, HEALTHY life???? Why do I usually feel when I get two steps ahead I get pulled 8 steps back???? Is he testing my faith to see if I will stray? Is he telling me to count my blessings and deal with what he has given me? I do realize that there are people in this world that have suffered more than me, but I’m not sure I can handle much more! I guess time will tell!

I have joked many times that I would like to write a book. I wonder if anyone would read it…hmmm????

All of the following has been in my life and immediate family so tell me…

Poverty. Teen Pregnancy. Abandonment. Adoption. Alcoholism. Drugs. Prostitution. Shop Lifting. Child Molestation. Child Pornography. Prison. Spousal Abuse. Divorce. Murder.
PLUS MORE!!!!!!

…do you think my life would make for a good read??????

Better yet, maybe I will pitch it to Lifetime and make it a movie of the week!